Finding “momME” — From Me to Mommy

Once upon a time, a little girl wanted nothing more than to be a mommy… and her wish came true!


From the time I could talk, “mommy” was at the top of the “What I want to be when I grow up” list.  And now that I am a mommy and loving it, I’m happy to say that I’m also discovering my “momME” as well.

So what do I mean by “momME”?  I doubt I’m the first to use this term, but as with many things, there are multiple interpretations around a similar theme.  I am talking about being the kind of mom I wanted to be (a little “granola,” child-centered SAHM), but finding a balance that allows me to be “me” as well.  My daughter comes first MOST of the time, but I am acknowledging that in order to be the mom that I want to be, I have to be selfish from time to time and create times to simple be “me.”  Every mommy has different expectations and wants for their “mommy” experience, but we all know that a happy mommy makes it easier to be a “good” mommy.  We each give-give-give, and we need to take moments to refill before we can give any more.

So, what’s my story, and where had I gone?  At 28, I met my husband and it was love at first sight.  He was wearing armor, how could I not fall instantly in love? (more on that another day)  I married at 30 and had my daughter 2 years later.  She was our gift for our first anniversary.  Before that, I had a successful career as an autism interventionist and program director.  I had a lot of time to find the things I enjoyed and a lot of time to be selfish.  When I had my daughter, my life changed as I knew it… not because it had to, but because I chose to.  My life revolved around my daughter.  Her needs were almost, if not completely, 100% ahead of my own.    I loved this life because it was the life I’d always dreamed of, or at least it was the life I thought “mommyhood” was supposed to be.  Then one day, I sat down at my vanity and didn’t recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

What’s your story?  Are you a mommy?  Have you found your “momME”?  Have you ever wanted something in your life, but then realized when you got there, you wanted it to be a little bit different?   Have you ever gotten lost and had to find yourself again?

Coming soon: Stuck in a Dream and Finding “Mom-ME” — How I Unmasked My Radiance and Awakened My Sparkle


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lisa soltes
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 10:53:55

    Nice Article Brenda!


  2. gigi wolf
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 12:38:35

    I like your story; being a mother certainly defines so much of our lives. Come back and visit me, soon!


  3. jonesrandf
    Jul 30, 2011 @ 16:58:25

    Thank you Lisa and Gigi! And Gigi, I definitely will 🙂


  4. Julieanne Case
    Aug 03, 2011 @ 20:55:03

    I never wanted to be a mommy. I knew at 19 that I would never have children. I used to tell myself it was because I was afraid of warping any child who came into my life. Yet I loved children and still do. I would give up dates to babysit and my charges loved and adored me as I did them. I didn’t have a good role model for being a mom. Now I do and I’m a great Nonni and a fun loving Great Aunt. But I do understand what you wrote here. I just got to spend time with my great nieces and I loved it. I also took time out for myself so I could return them fully charged. My grandchildren are the best! I married a man with grown children so I did get those gorgeous creatures known as grandchildren.
    Great post!

    Julieanne Case
    Always from the heart!
    Reconnecting you to your essence, joy, vitality, youth.| Healing you from the Inside Out |Reconnective Healing | AgeLoc Skin Care


  5. DebeBloom
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 16:58:51

    Way back when, I never ‘wanted’ to be a mommy, but when life took it’s course, and I became pregnant with my first baby, I was thrilled. First a little girl, who was the most perfect baby–the most perfect child. So much so, that I knew I needed to have a sibling, for HER, to grow up with and enjoy that bond. Two totally different children. My baby girl is now 38, married and declines the motherhood role: my 36 year old son has 2 gorgeous daughters. I cannot imagine, not for one moment, of life without either of my kids and yes, I devoted my everything to them. I was raised with the phrase from my dad: “if not for the kids, for what?”. Having time for myself, now, needs to be laced with my kids close by, because they help make me, me. But they only ‘help’ in that process…it’s nice to know that I’m me because of me! Thanks for this post…it allowed me some thinking time!


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