Finding “momME” — From Me to Mommy

Once upon a time, a little girl wanted nothing more than to be a mommy… and her wish came true!

 

From the time I could talk, “mommy” was at the top of the “What I want to be when I grow up” list.  And now that I am a mommy and loving it, I’m happy to say that I’m also discovering my “momME” as well.

So what do I mean by “momME”?  I doubt I’m the first to use this term, but as with many things, there are multiple interpretations around a similar theme.  I am talking about being the kind of mom I wanted to be (a little “granola,” child-centered SAHM), but finding a balance that allows me to be “me” as well.  My daughter comes first MOST of the time, but I am acknowledging that in order to be the mom that I want to be, I have to be selfish from time to time and create times to simple be “me.”  Every mommy has different expectations and wants for their “mommy” experience, but we all know that a happy mommy makes it easier to be a “good” mommy.  We each give-give-give, and we need to take moments to refill before we can give any more.

So, what’s my story, and where had I gone?  At 28, I met my husband and it was love at first sight.  He was wearing armor, how could I not fall instantly in love? (more on that another day)  I married at 30 and had my daughter 2 years later.  She was our gift for our first anniversary.  Before that, I had a successful career as an autism interventionist and program director.  I had a lot of time to find the things I enjoyed and a lot of time to be selfish.  When I had my daughter, my life changed as I knew it… not because it had to, but because I chose to.  My life revolved around my daughter.  Her needs were almost, if not completely, 100% ahead of my own.    I loved this life because it was the life I’d always dreamed of, or at least it was the life I thought “mommyhood” was supposed to be.  Then one day, I sat down at my vanity and didn’t recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

What’s your story?  Are you a mommy?  Have you found your “momME”?  Have you ever wanted something in your life, but then realized when you got there, you wanted it to be a little bit different?   Have you ever gotten lost and had to find yourself again?

Coming soon: Stuck in a Dream and Finding “Mom-ME” — How I Unmasked My Radiance and Awakened My Sparkle

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Life is a story. What’s your story?

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to read books.  Then one day she realized she could write her own…

Over the next few months, I will be sharing more of my story with all of you.  Who I was, who I am, who I want to be, how I got here, and how I plan to get where I want to go.  We each travel our own journeys in life.  We win, we lose, we learn.  I have a pendant that I give to my Rodan + Fields business partners that says “The journey is the reward.”  I know what my goals are and regardless of whether or not I realize them or if they change along the way, I am loving the journey as it unfolds.  The best part has been meeting new and fabulous people, connecting with them, and hearing their stories.  Some share a lot, some share a little, but I find that I can almost always relate to it in some way.  I’ve learned so much about others, and myself.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve found a long-lost sister because our stories are so similar.  Other times, I find that I can look at something in a different way because of someone’s story.  So while I’m still putting my words together to tell my story, my question to you is this:

Got Birthday Cake?? Do you wish on candles?

Once upon a time, there was a birthday without a cake and candles to wish upon.  But dreams and wishes can still come true.

It’s my birthday week!  I’m now 36.  Ugg, I said that out loud.  I’m now officially closer to 40.  I’ve lived away from home just as long as I lived at home.  Now that could upset me.  That could make me feel old, especially with a husband who has yet to turn 30… but it doesn’t.  I’m excited to be 36 because I’m excited for what 36 holds for me.  I have some big dreams I plan to realize this year.  And not looking 36 helps a bit too (as I sit here in the middle of an anti-age facial).

I’m happy to say that I’ve taken the past week or so “off” of my regular internet travels.  But, before this unexpected break, I read a few great posts about wishing and dreaming, not to forget the fabulous book by one of my mentors (“The Effortless Yes” by Julie Steelman) in which she discusses action vs. dreaming and “dusting off your moxie.”  I don’t know how it happened since I was surrounded by my hubby, my princess, my bestie and her family, my mom, and my cousin (not to mention a day out with friends the next day), but I survived my birthday weekend without a cake or a song… and without candles to wish on. Sitting here a few days later, I realize that I don’t need to wish on a candle.  What I need to realize my dreams is a belief in myself, a belief in the products I represent, a belief in my mission to help others unmask their radiance, awaken their sparkle, and create the lives of their dreams, and the knowledge that what I DO matters more than any “birthday wish” I could make.  I also believe that positive thoughts can realize positive outcomes and putting it out in the universe in the correct manner does help.  So for all of you who didn’t have birthday candles to wish on this year, I offer us this:

What are you wishing for and what are you planning to do to make it come true?  And like the Genie in “Aladdin” says, “No wishing for more wishes.”

Facing Fear: A time to freeze or a time to sparkle?

Once upon a time I decided to try something new.  Then I realized how scary that really is.

A good friend called me this week and told me she was scared.  Scared to move forward, scared to reach for the dreams she’d set for herself and her family, scared that she was out of reasons to put off those next steps.  And this left her not knowing what to do next.  I realized that I feel very much the same way.  We’ve both caught ourselves saying “I’ll hit the ground running when…” or “Once I ___, then I can really start running.”  What happens when there’s no longer anything in your way but yourself?

Change is scary.  The unknown is worrisome.  I can’t help but picture a friend’s baby girl, standing and thinking about taking that first step.  She’s on the verge of something new, something exciting, and something pretty scary to an 11-month-old.  Sure, it could could go horribly wrong.  But what if it goes incredibly right?  At what point do we decide that the fear of missing out on wonderful is more frightening than the fear of what could go wrong?  What if you were to acknowledge that anything bad is a part of the journey to great?  Would that change your willingness to take that next step?

I attended a fabulous seminar a couple of weeks ago.  Brilliant and Bankable Live with Julie Steelman and Lisa Steadman.  I went there because I need to work on getting out of my own way.  There were so many empowering take-aways, but here’s one that continues to stick with me: “Do you want to live the same great year 99 times, or would you rather live a great year 99 different ways?”  It made me stop to think.  There are many stories of our top earners in Rodan + Fields about how things were tough (almost a sense of desperation at times) and that motivated them to run to the top with this business.  I look at my life and while it could always improve, I’m pretty happy with it the way it is… and I think that makes it harder.  I want to retire my husband in the next few years like I know is possible, but that desire hasn’t yet been enough to overcome my fears.  I want the lifestyle that I can achieve, but I let fears keep me from doing what I need to do to get there.  So back to living this year 99 times.  I love this year, but I want the 99 different ways… and THAT is where I will find my motivation to move through my fears and to the life that I and my family deserve.  I’m ready to sparkle and I want to teach others to do the same.  So many of us stay where we are because it’s comfortable and change is not.  But what are we missing out on?  How much better could life be if we are willing to be a little uncomfortable as we grow?

What fears stand between you and your dreams?  When will you decide that fear of not reaching your dreams is bigger than the fears that are in the way?  And if you’ve already moved past this point, what tips can you share for those of us still in the struggle?